How my blog felt when I looked at it in September.
Yes, it has been awhile since I cultivated my blog’s ground. Momentous events, personal healing struggles, and even a resistance to writing–all have pulled me away into more inner journeys. I’ve done a lot of personal journaling, but didn’t feel ready to record anything for public view.
I’ll share a secret here. I’ve always had mixed feelings about my own writing. I’ve been really “left brain” most of my life, a better editor of others’ work than creator of my own. When I wrote my own work, it truly was WORK–as in slog and drudgery. I crafted, sculpted, tweaked, agonized over most sentences. The results were usually clear and lucid, occasionally exquisite (if I do say so myself :-) ), but at such a personal cost of time and stress that I’d always tell myself after I finally finished a piece, “I’m quitting NOW! This is just too f#*$in’ much WORK!”
But something shifted in me after the healing time, and I found myself waking up in the morning feeling (cautiously) inspired about putting words out for others to read. But I’d just get busy with my day and the inspiration would quietly soak into the fallow ground so it remained, well, fallow. But gradually more fertile.smoothpebblestudio.com
I guess we’ll find out together!
I’ve written mostly from my mind, and that’s a habit I’ve cultivated from years of academic study and training. It has its strengths, and I am grateful for a good left brain! But since my Great Awakening in 2011, I’ve come to cherish my right brain–experiential, mystical, simply alive in the present. And I’ve also come to realize that writing from Spirit, which is my real goal, is even more about heart than brain. I’m getting a sense that coming from my heart will actually make writing easier, and definitely more joyful. And probably more fun to read, too.
So I’ll be planting more heart seeds in this blog’s ground, and we’ll see what sprouts! I imagine there will still be a lot of left-brain editing (weeding?) happening–kind of unavoidable for me–but I intend to have a lot more fun letting Spirit flow through my heart and into the words.
My friends in the Fae realm gave me a little chant to help me remember the difference:
“Slow slow struggle struggle slowstruggleSLOG!
Flow flow loving loving flowlovingFUN!”
Okay. That seems pretty clear. Ready to practice now :-)